First off, I have to say that I am NOT writing this in an attempt to get a lot of comments about how the Frigolis are fun. I am writing this as a confession...
The Frigolis are not very fun to be around!
Everytime we attempt to get out of our house, it ends in a battle. I keep waving my little white flag in the air and trying to surrender but our children keep fighting the battle anyway. The first time I remember this feeling was at my friend, Andi's birthday party in July. We were attempting to eat at a restaurant and their were 2 other families there with kids. Those kids were GREAT, but mine were both crying and carrying on about something. I was just thinking-This is miserable-Why are we putting everyone through this---We should Leave now! This exact situation has duplicated itself too many times to count. Dinner a few weeks ago with my grandparents----miserable. Dinner for Tal's birthday---miserable. Dinner at Cafe Brazil with the McClishes---miserable. Trip to a movie with my Brother and Kimberly---miserable. Seriously-why do we invite people to be put through this misery? We can not have a conversation, no way are the people we are with enjoying themselves, and our kids are clearly not digging what we are doing.
This weekend, I was running ahead of everyone trying to see if a Medical Clinic was open or not after the movie experience and while I was walking back I saw Annabelle flinging herslef around like a wild child throwing a FIT about something. YES-my Child was throwing herself on the ground outside of a dollar movie SCREAMING. I have seen that exact scene A LOT but never thought it was going to be my family living it out. I wanted to get in the car and crawl under the seat and never come out until my kids were 20. I was not really embarrased, I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to surrender, but she would not let me.
Yesterday on our drive home from Killeen, both kids were crying-Magging was SCREAMING and clawing at me because she wanted out of her car seat and Annabelle was crying because she only had 5 coins and wanted 6! Again, I wanted to crawl out the window and WALK home to Dallas instead of being in that car! I would have given anything for 5 mins of silence.
So-these expereinces have divulged 2 things to me: #1 The Frigolis are not fun to be around except maybe at our own house and #2 I am not a good mom to an almost 3 yr old! Really what all of this means is that I need Patience....seriously hasn't God tried to teach me that before?
I always thought that 1 Corinthians would reveal itself most in marriage, but I have learned that it is revealing itself to me much more in motherhood. And just for the record-----I am coming up WAY SHORT!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Just typing that out is hard because each thing is so far from where I really am TODAY...
So-we are staying at home and if anyone is brave enough to come over or invite us out with them----be WARNED. We have a mother in training who is not meeting the mark!
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3 comments:
Amy! You are far too hard on yourself! This is only for a season... parenting is hard and there is no manual to go by. Our children push us in ways that we thought they never would. Our parenting styles are questioned, our relationships with our spouses and friends are questioned, and all of these can work out to be great things! I feel like you are on fire... can I help put out the flame? I LOVE your babies and don't expect them to act perfect, ever... they are beautiful and Annabelle is such a great friend to Ryland. :)
Sweet Amy!! I love you so much and want to encourage you with this... You have to know that even the kids who were, for some reason, "behaving" on that night in July also have their fair share of moments. The parents of one of those kids (and I would bet both of those kids) feel much like you do many days. Parenting is hard!! It's by far the hardest thing I've ever done, but definitely the sweetest. It is truly sanctifying! I have learned so much about myself, my weaknesses and my utter and complete need for Jesus by being a mommy. Most mornings I just pray... Jesus, you know I can't do this without you. Give me your heart, your patience and help me to love as you love today. I absolutely fall short of the standards I set for myself every single day and more times than not beat myself up for it. I also fall short of the standards God sets in his word. But.. at the end of the day there is grace and the next morning there are new mercies. So I've kind of come to this place... if I have loved Avery well (some days that's just kisses & hugs and attending to her basic needs) and pointed her to Jesus, I know I've done what he's asked of me. I try to cut myself some slack on the other stuff because I know I'll never measure up.
You are an amazing mom to two precious daughters! Like Sherah says, this is only for a season. I'm sure you are going to feel like this on other days, but give yourself a break, take a moment to breathe...rest in the grace of Christ.
Thank you for sharing your heart.
Love you friend!!
Andi
Amy...my dear friend..."mom-in-training"...I echo Sherah and Andi!
Hang in there and remember that God has put these sweet girls under your provision...and He is wise! No one could be a better mommy to Annabelle and Maggie than you!
Will pray for the fruits of the Spirit to be evident in your everyday and know you are not alone in your battle to love your children and point them to Jesus even on the difficult days!
Love you sweet friend!
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