No Commands??? Seriously...

I have not had much time to read the book that I am loving to learn from-Parenting with Love and Logic, but I have made it through a bit more during the kids bathtimes.  This is really the only time I can read a book because the kids are not clawing at me and I can keep an eye on them while I am reading!

One thing that has proven quite difficult is re-training myself to offer Annabelle advice instead of commands.  And-trying to re-train Italo to do the same.  He told me yesterday, "You trained me all wrong!"  Since Annabelle was quite small, if she was doing something that Italo did not like, he would try to convience her to do things his way and my response was always..."You are bigger than her, make her do what you want!"  This is VERY different than the wisdom that I am finding in Love and Logic.  Of course there are times they have to do something they dont want to do, but for the most part we are encouraged to offer advice instead of commands.

Example:  We want Annabelle to come to the car after leaving Babies R Us yesterday.  We explain that Maggie is sleepy and needs to leave now.  She says she does not want to leave.  We tell her, that is not an option, but you do have the choice of walking to the car or being carried.  She chooses to walk....until she sees the Mickey Mouse ride at the front of the store.  So-we let her play there while Italo is checking out and then we have to leave...Maggie is fading fast!  Again, we tell her it is time to go and she can walk or be carried.  She does not start walking so Italo picks her up and carries her to the car, telling her-I guess you choose to be carried.  This sets her off-of course.

She NEEDS to see Mickie Mouse.  She NEEDS to see Mickie Mouse.  This is her cry...all the way home.  She then proceeds to start kicking the seat.  Her cry has started to get me over the edge, so I am far from amused at this point and I really want to tell her-STOP KICKING THE SEAT in my best stern voice that has been practiced over 3 years.  But instead, I try to put the new technique into practice.

ME:  Annabelle-do you want to kick the seat or go to time out when we get home?   

ANNABELLE:  Stops crying all the sudden and says-"Kick the seat"

I look at Italo kinda dumbfunded....hmm, I did not offer that choice correctly!  I guess I need some more practice ;)