Something Different...

Today I walked down a hallway of little lockers in an Elementary School.  The last time I did this was visiting my nieces and nephews at their schools.  Today was different because at the other end of those lockers was a classroom designed for MY DAUGHTER.  And on Monday, she will have a locker with her name on it, be given assignments, attendance taken, ride a school bus and all together be a BIG girl.  The days of deciding to take a day off of work to spend the day with her, staying in our PJs longer than we should on a work day or just enjoying story time together in the mornings has come to an end and now she will go to school. 

She has been in daycare since she was 3 months old, but this is different.  I know have parent teacher conferences scheduled, attendance rules and an elementary school with my daughter enrolled in it.  How did we get here so fast...I was supposed to have 2 more years before this happened!!!

I know it will be such a great opportunity for her and I know she needs some extra help getting ready for Kindergarten because of her difficulties, but this is not exactly what I was emotionally prepared for when I started this process.  She will be in an inclusion classroom designed for children with disabilities.  What that means is that all but 3 children in her classroom are "non-diagnosed" children and my daughter is diagnosed with a disability that requires "special ed".  So here we go...

Today she got to play in the classroom while Italo and I attended a meeting to discuss her goals.  She was SOOOO excited to go to her new school and almost bounced down the hallway into the classroom.  She walked into the room and when we came back it was a different story.  She left with the weight of the world in her head and was VERY quiet on the way home.  I was emotionally overwhelmed so I am sure she was as well.  Watching her for about 30 mins in the classroom confirmed that we were doing the right thing with this new path, but it was heartbreaking to see her with the other kids.  I can not wait to see how much she changes in this environment because it will be so great for her, but when you almost think she was getting better on her own and then get smacked in the face with the reality that she is not and still has a long way to go, it is hard.  It is hard to see your daughter hurting,  It is hard not to be able to help her.  It is hard not to have the answers. 

I know that God has all of this under control and I know that He will provide comfort to me and Annabelle through this process, but it is really hard right now!  We would sure appreciate your prayers for us over the next few weeks as we transition to our new normal.  And look out for a big girl getting off a school bus on Monday with a backpack as big as her :)