Side by Sides!

Annabelle found her baby book tonight and wanted me to tell her the stories over and over!  As a result of looking at all those pictures of my first baby I realized that I was WAY behind on Maggie's baby book-which I fixed tonight and I also wanted to see the girls monthly pics side by side.  I thought you guys may be interested in this as well so here goes.  Annabelle is on the top, Maggie on the bottom in each set and they are each taken on the day they turned 1 month, 2 months etc.

1 month

2 months

Annabelle 11lbs 7oz 22 3/4"

Maggie 12 lbs 10oz 23 3/4"

3 months

4 months

Annabelle - 14 lbs 13 oz 24 3/4"

Maggie - 15 lbs 25 1/4"

5 months

6 months

Annabelle - 17lbs 8 oz 28 3/4"

Maggie - 17lbs 9oz 26 1/2"

7 months

8 months

9 months

STATS to come-the dr did not give me the paper for Maggie-he is going to be in TROUBLE:)

10 Months

I am suprised how much they differ from each other when I thought they were more similar.  I think they look like sisters but not identical!  Their personalities are certaintly quite different right now but it will be interesting to see if Maggie changes as much as Annabelle did after she gained some independence around 1 yrs old. 

I CANT believe that next month we will be celebrating 2 birthdays!

Love and Logic-Lesson 1

So in my attempt to be a better mom to a 3 yr old, I am reading Parenting with Love and Logic.

So far I have not made it past the first few chapters, but it is already making a huge difference.  What I have learned is that I am a Drill Sergent Parent.  I decided that Annabelle was going to do what I said because I was the parent and I was in control.  Well....this is fine to get compliance but it is not going to serve her very well later in life when she has to make decisions for herself.  So, instead of demanding she does what I want her to do every step of the way, I need to present her with the facts and let her make a decision.  I know it seems laughable to me as well.....but IT WORKS!  This morning, I did not have a power struggle with Annabelle one time.  When it was time to put her blankie and paci away-she happly walked to her room and handed them to me.  When it was time to get into the car, she happily walked to the car and climbed in.  Those are MAJOR victories in my house.  AND-I left the house on time and made it to work early!  This is huge and really helps my stress level which adds to the problems as I explained yesterday.

I simply give her a choice between two things and let her decide how she is going to do it.  For example, Annabelle do you want Mommy to take your paci and blanket to the basket or do you want to do it?  Annabelle do you want to walk or be carried to the car?  Tricky I know, but it is working!

I can't wait to read more and try to get a stradegy that will work to create peace in my home and soul.  One of the first things the book says is that we can put the fun back into parenting---looking forward to it ;)       

Fun with the Frigolis????

First off, I have to say that I am NOT writing this in an attempt to get a lot of comments about how the Frigolis are fun.  I am writing this as a confession... 

The Frigolis are not very fun to be around! 

Everytime we attempt to get out of our house, it ends in a battle.  I keep waving my little white flag in the air and trying to surrender but our children keep fighting the battle anyway.  The first time I remember this feeling was at my friend, Andi's birthday party in July.  We were attempting to eat at a restaurant and their were 2 other families there with kids.  Those kids were GREAT, but mine were both crying and carrying on about something.  I was just thinking-This is miserable-Why are we putting everyone through this---We should Leave now!  This exact situation has duplicated itself too many times to count.  Dinner a few weeks ago with my grandparents----miserable.  Dinner for Tal's birthday---miserable.  Dinner at Cafe Brazil with the McClishes---miserable.  Trip to a movie with my Brother and Kimberly---miserable.  Seriously-why do we invite people to be put through this misery?  We can not have a conversation, no way are the people we are with enjoying themselves, and our kids are clearly not digging what we are doing. 

This weekend, I was running ahead of everyone trying to see if a Medical Clinic was open or not after the movie experience and while I was walking back I saw Annabelle flinging herslef around like a wild child throwing a FIT about something.  YES-my Child was throwing herself on the ground outside of a dollar movie SCREAMING.  I have seen that exact scene A LOT but never thought it was going to be my family living it out.  I wanted to get in the car and crawl under the seat and never come out until my kids were 20.  I was not really embarrased, I just wanted it to stop.  I wanted to surrender, but she would not let me. 

Yesterday on our drive home from Killeen, both kids were crying-Magging was SCREAMING and clawing at me because she wanted out of her car seat and Annabelle was crying because she only had 5 coins and wanted 6!  Again, I wanted to crawl out the window and WALK home to Dallas instead of being in that car!  I would have given anything for 5 mins of silence. 

So-these expereinces have divulged 2 things to me:  #1  The Frigolis are not fun to be around except maybe at our own house and #2  I am not a good mom to an almost 3 yr old!  Really what all of this means is that I need Patience....seriously hasn't God tried to teach me that before? 

I always thought that 1 Corinthians would reveal itself most in marriage, but I have learned that it is revealing itself to me much more in motherhood.  And just for the record-----I am coming up WAY SHORT! 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Just typing that out is hard because each thing is so far from where I really am TODAY... 

So-we are staying at home and if anyone is brave enough to come over or invite us out with them----be WARNED.  We have a mother in training who is not meeting the mark! 
     

Hello Spring!

It is just BEAUTIFUL outside today!  I am so looking forward to getting outside and playing with the kids this weekend, but for now, I am sitting at my desk with no view of the sun waiting until it is time to go.  So-I thought I would do a little shopping :)  It is just window shopping but still fun!  I am imagining a spring picnic and the girls in these cute outfits....

For Annabelle-the girly girl who loves to wear dresses and frill:

And for my happy go lucky little one Maggie, this fun dress complete with a Hat!

My view from afar...

Every parent has to experience the feeling of someone else influencing or caring for your child from a very young age. When you first have a baby, people come to visit you at the hospital and take a sleeping and swaddled child from your arms and hold them. I know how much I love to hold a new baby so I don't fault anyone from this experience, but it certainly feels different to watch your newborn in someone else's arms than yours. You are able to see a different view of them, see how they move their mouth or grap someones finger and it is not the same view as you saw when you were holding them.

Fast forward to some point in the future and you walk away from the house and your baby is not with you. For some this takes days and for some it takes years...but the day comes! When you return you hear stories about what they did or how they behaved and it is a different view than when you are with them. They NEVER act exactly the same way when they are with you as with other people and it is fun--at least for me--to listen to stories of something the girls did when I did not experience it first hand. I would rather have been there, but there is something to be said for other people telling you about your child. Depending on the caregiver and the "mood" of your child-your desires were probably either carried out the letter or something did not go as planned. usually something did not go as planned. They did not eat, they did not sleep, they fell down etc. It happens.....it happens to moms too.....but in that moment, your only thought is-"Seriously!" They ALWAYS or NEVER do that with me. What did you do wrong.

Why do mommies feel like they are perfect when it comes to what to do for their babies? Why do we feel so much pressure to be perfect, to always have a answer, to know the answer before the question is asked?

So-this is true for all moms I have ever talked to. If this is not true for you, then I would love to know who you are. But when you are a working mom-these ideals that we have for our children are FORCED to be changed. The daycare decides what they are going to eat for lunch. The daycare decides when they are going to take a nap. The daycare decides what book to read before naptime. Of course, the moms get to be part of the process but ultimately, we are overridden must of the time. The child is asked to forgo their perfect world for a world that works with all the other kiddos. They are taught to share, to be considerate of the other kids, to not talk back to their teachers etc etc etc. Of course we get to pick where we take them, and make sure that place will work with us, but really we have to find the place that works BETTER than the others. I doubt there is a BEST daycare. BEST is at home with mommy---right?

So my view of Annabelle and Maggie is different now that someone gets to teach them, play with them and be with them all day. I know I would rather them run to me than their teacher when they want something....But, I know that what is BEST is that they run to their heavenly father when they have struggles....not to their Mommy....OUCH! They are supposed to grow up and move on. That is for sure. I can not create a world that is perfect for myself or for my kids. They will have to struggle in their lives as I have struggled to get where they will be in 35 years.

But for now, I pray for Annabelle's teacher Ms Randee and Maggie's teacher Ms Melissa and for each of the kids they have the privilege of knowing each day. I know that God has ordained their time with each child and teacher and IS IN CHARGE of that time no matter what my opinions are about it.

Good, Better, Best

Do you remember this rhyme (or maybe a limerick-I don't know the difference)

Good Better Best

Always Do your Best

Because when your good is good enough

You better doing best

I probably don't have that completely correct but that is how it goes around in my head! I think everyone has a little OCD over something and mine is over words. I will repeat one word or phrase over and over again in my head until something else takes its place. Now-mind you I don't always have all the words correct-but I know what I mean. This little rhyme is been playing in my head lately because Annabelle has started to understand the idea of being good at something.

I really noticed it when she started her new school in February. Things were a little different there and she was asked to do things she was not made to do before. Like drink from a cup and take responsibility over her belongings. So-she was VERY eager to show me how she could drink from a cup. Each time we sat down to dinner, she no longer wanted her straw for her milk she wanted to drink straight from the cup! She would smile so big while she was drinking that I am surprised she could swallow, but she was so proud of herself. She would put the cup down and say-Annabelle you are a BIG girl! This continued when she would climb into the car seat all by herself. Each morning, I hear her deep little voice saying-Annabelle you are a GREAT climber. You are such a big girl! Of course, I repeat these words of affirmation and make a big deal of her accomplishment all the while worrying a little bit how much she likes praise.

Italo and I noticed since Annabelle was about 3 months old sitting in her excersaucer that she liked to press the buttons that made noise because she liked when we clapped for her. If we were not in the room, she would clap for herself-but clapping had to be done! With such a big heart for words of praise-I worry that she will feel the need to be better than anyone else and that this need will drive her into dangerous territory. I want her to want to do well-but she does not have to be THE BEST. I pray that it will be enough for her to be pretty, smart, godly, friendly etc without the need to be prettier, smarter, godlier or friendlier than anyone else. And I really don't want her to feel the pressure to be the Prettiest, the Smartest, the Godliest or the Friendliest. So-the next time you see me, help keep me in check to build my daughter's confidence without building her ego. And most importantly help me teach her that these qualities are From the Lord and FOR the Lord not for herself.

Colossians 1:16 - For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities: all things were created by Him and for Him

Dear Diary...

I was never the type to write in a diary when I was little. I remember getting one when I was about 10 yrs old and taking it to my grandparents house in TN and I never knew what I might want to tell a diary. Everyday I tried to think of something to put in that diary and I brought it back home to Texas with nothing at all in it. Now with the world of blogs I find it really comforting to write out my feelings in a virtual diary but the problem is that everyone has the key :) I dont have much to hide in my life and I think of myself as an open book but it is hard to think about writing things that people would actually want to read. Then I realized-this is for me!

So-I doubt their is anyone actually reading this, but if so enjoy my ramblings as I entertain myself and attempt to capture my life for today!